Gremlin’s Fireside Chat

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Rick Cook, The Wizardry Compiled

I don’t know who originally said this but it had me in a fit of giggles; and as with most humour there is more than a grain of truth:

“Skill without imagination is called craftmanship – from which we have many beautiful and useful things; a good example would be furniture. Imagination without skill is modern art”.

As an Irishman I think that I must be lacking, due to a combination of genes probably, something that the rest of my fellow countrymen and countrywomen posses. What is it that I am “missingâ€? that I hear you ask? well its telepathy. If not something that Board Failte – the Irish Tourist Board – seem to mention; but I think every tourist should be made aware of. The reason for this is that Irish drivers rarely (in some cases never) use their indicators to indicate where they are going – right at a round-about, left at a roundabout, over-taking, pulling in etc; and the only reason I can think of is that the average Irish driver is telepathic; I am not and it drives me nuts (WARNING Grumpy Old Man Alert). Why cannot people learn to use indicators – thats what they are there for, to INDICATE to your fellow drivers your intention. Its only good manners after all. Calm down gremmy, deep breaths – in, out, in, out.

Today is May the 2nd. Nothing too special, a nice day in Dublin; work went well and I relearned a couple of new things about Java and the nature of Watchdogs. But this is an aside. From the BBC On This Day site there were two items that brought back to me the passing of time and I am getting old. The first was on 2nd May 1997 The Labour Party Crushed the corrupt Tory government which had been in since 1979 with the promises of equality for all, justice for all and good clean, honourable Government. I was 32 at the time. I thought the world was becoming a better place – how wrong I was. Look in today’s British papers and you get pretty much what the Tories had become famous for – Ministers abusing power, ministers cheating on their wives or husbands, and incompetence in Government – in all cases the Ministers concerned trying desperately to cling on to their jobs and power; HOW can they hold up their heads in public – not only that but have the cheek to refer to each other as “the honourable memberâ€?; There is little honour between any of them. I won’t go on about imprisonment without trial (although terrorists should be hunted down with as much gusto as we can muster) or going to war on false pretences and telling bare faced lies to the public about it.

The other thing was on May 2nd 1982 the General Belgrano was sunk by a British Submarine and initiating the “hotâ€? period of the Falklands war. I remember it because I was a member of the British Armed Forces at the time (ah the time when I was fit, had hair and had a decent figure – fond memories). My Battalion was on a rifle-range and we were undertaking a Battalion shoot at the time – it was a warm sunny day I remember; It was the day I discovered that I could shoot better with my left hand than my right (I am right-handed by preference). The day was going fairly well for my company (D Company) but there was a buzz in the air about the war – will we be deployed, who do we know who’s out there, how will I react under real combat conditions? will my bottle go or will I be OK and not let my mates down? will there be any fighting or will the various governments back down. All these thoughts and feelings are natural in the circumstances.

The range tannoy system crackled into life sometime early in the afternoon and made a brief announcement giving the basics of what had happened – an Argentinian Cruiser sunk; no British casualties; probable Argentinian. The men – myself included – cheered and roared with delight with national and professional pride (that said, I am Southern Irish and was serving in the British Army, but the family has a history of this and the pay is much better than the Irish Army); At the time I clearly remember an inner disquiet. I remember thinking, “that’s it; no chance of peace now; why am I cheering; don’t these men realise that men have died – they may be Argentinian but they are men like you and me doing a job; it could be you, and somewhere and sometime soon a family is going to be devastated to learn they have lost a son, lover or husband. A child will be fatherless. It is an odd to feel elation and sadness at the same time, you would have thought that they are opposite emotions to a degree and you would feel either on or another.

It really made me think about war, humanity. I often think of the Falklands. Fortunately I was never deployed there. But I knew people who did and some who went and never came back alive. A military funeral is a solemn and majestic thing in many ways – and it really brings home the sacrifice of those millions who fell in the slaughter of the first world war; but to loose some one who is only 18,19, 20 is not the way it should be. We were, and many of those sent out as cannon fodder are little more than children with guns. What a waste of so much potential. What has humanity come to?

I have been listening to Paul Boag and Marcus Lillington’s podcasts over at www.boagworld.com for the last few weeks and they are a good laugh on a monday evening. Funny in that they like slagging each other off – especially since Marcus is a pop-star has been – and Paul doesn’t let him forget it. Apart from the slagging and Paul denying he is a Geek (and Paul YES YOU ARE), they give a down-to-earth, say-it-as-it-is insight into the hows and whys of web-development. Well worth a listen.